Knowing What To Say

Balancing relationships are hard. Relationships with your parents, siblings, friends, classmates, people at work, team members on a project etc etc.

Some of these relationships often intertwine and you don’t want to offend anyone. Bonds are strong, but sometimes, they break easy. Some relationships are more important to you than others.

Sometimes finding the right words is hard. Confrontation is easy to avoid, but sometimes, you just have to let the words out.

I think that we should say what we think immediately – not in the moment when we’re seething or emotions are running high – but when we’re much calmer. But not when too much time has passed. And not after another problem where all the anger and other emotions build up.

We should learn to say sorry. Apologise when you’re in the wrong.
Don’t feel guilty if you haven’t done any wrong.

In the end, relationships are not by force – maybe except with your parents and siblings – so leave and let live (this is not a mistake)

Do what makes you happy but doesn’t cause harm/hurt to other people


The Project ‘O’: An Opinionated Piece

I saw this interesting “questionnaire” on A Opinionated Man’s site. It is called the “The Project O” and this is the template.
I shortened some of the questions so that the post won’t be too long.


Name: Lade T
Blog: We Blog About Books
         Out Of My Head
Twitter: @deaduramilade

Question 1: Please provide a window into who you are, some background information in a not too overwhelming profile here

My name is Lade. I live in Lagos, Nigeria. I am still in my teens. I love to read and write. I like colours. I’m interested in photography and makeup and I hope to start university soon

Question 2: If you haven’t already done so please provide your country of origin, whether you are male or female, an age would be nice, and where you currently live if that differs from the country of origin. Also try to give us a brief view of your current neighborhood and what it is like in as specific terms as you like.Does sex also have something to do with this, as well as age?

I’m from Lagos, Nigeria; female, almost 17. I live in a quiet neighbourhood. I’ve lived in only two places (houses) and they are very different from each other. I live with my mum and 2 siblings. I’m from a Muslim family but I went to Christian schools and I’m a christian. I like to believe that I’m unbiased and impartial (most of the time).

Question 3: Recount the first time you remember having a differing opinion from someone significantly older than you. Do you remember what the topic was about? Did you voice your opinion or hold it to yourself?

Where I’m from, it’s mostly seen as disrespectful to voice disagreement with someone who is older.
The one time I remember was when I was in SS3 (final year of high school) a pastor came to school to talk to us. The topic was idol worship or something. He said something about meat that is cooked for Muslim holidays are sacrificed to idols and that if we eat the food, we are committing sin. I replied that what he said was wrong and then I walked out of the hall.

Question 4: What levels of respect were practiced around you when you were a child? Was there bowing involved, handshakes, “yes Sirs and yes Ma’ams,” or some other equivalent respectfulness in your culture’s tongue? Is an honorific given to someone older than you and do you often respect and practice that? How might the culture you were brought up in have affected the growth of your own opinions?

Respect is a very big part of our culture. There’s not much room for disagreement or questions. Most times, they are seen as disrespectful.
Greetings and salutations are important. Girls are supposed to kneel and boys are to prostrate in greeting. Older people (irrespective of their relationship to you) are referred to as Aunty “insert name” or Uncle “insert name”.
A lot of my aunts, uncles and older cousins tell their children to call me Aunty Lade (which I don’t like).

Question 5: How traveled are you and to what degree do you keep up with international news? You might also provide an educational background if you wish and if that education was gained from somewhere other than your current location. How available is the news and what goes on in the outside world to you in your country?

I have traveled out of Nigeria twice (school excursions to Republic of Benin and Togo by road). Although they were fun and exciting, they don’t count as travel experience because it was limiting. I didn’t see much of the culture and the people. I believe that I have time to go around the world.
It’s easy to know what’s going on around the world if you have/can afford access to CNN, Al Jazeera. BBC (and so on) and the internet.

Question 6: If you could share an opinion on a single international incident or topic that you either feel strongly about or that might not be known to the rest of the world what would it be? You have our attention.

Black this, black that. We limit our competition to ourselves. If White people have awards and events for themselves only, there would be a lot of noise made but when black people do it, it’s okay and it’s Black pride.
I think it allows for mediocrity.

Question 7: What does the right to an opinion mean to you? Is it essential to freedom to have this right? How far would you go to protect that ability? The world is on fire with people of passion, how passionate are you about things you value?

I believe that everyone has a right to his/her own opinion.
Opinions are formed from how we are brought up, the people we associate with, what we read, watch, listen to, see, our culture and life experiences and how we react to them.

Question 8: Is it ever right for you to be allowed an opinion while someone else is denied that same right on the same topic?

Yes and No.
No. Everyone has an opinion on almost everything and it’s discriminatory to not allow someone voice an opinion while disallowing someone else from voicing an opinion on the same topic.
Yes. Some people take things to an unnecessary extreme and cannot handle the freedom.

Question 9: The last question upon completing this template and hopefully contemplating the issue what does this project mean to you? How can Project O potentially enlighten or help the world?

I’m not sure.
I guess it might open mental borders. It has allowed me to focus my mind and thoughts and it can help people see others opinions and experiences more clearly, and possibly give a window into how different people think.

The LORD is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life of whom shall I be afraid?
– Psalm 27:1

I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel. “For he is the living God and he endures forever; his kingdom will not be destroyed, his dominion will never end. He rescues and he saves; He performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions.”
– Daniel 6:26-27

Grace and Peace

Thursday Random Ramblings

Yesterday, I forgot to mention two things. One, Rivers State House of Assembly fight. How disgraceful. I have nothing else to say.

Two the constitution review that basically allows paedophilia. I’m just upset. I was not the best student in government but even I know that Nigeria is a secular state so no religion has bearing in the constitution. That guy, Yerima-or-what’s-his-face should even be in jail. He has a now 14 year old ‘wife’ from Egypt. She’s been his wife for like 2/3 years now.

The randomness that is today’s post

Now, in my last post I mentioned that I didn’t have a phone for a week so please don’t judge me for the what you’re about to see. Boredom leads to all sorts.

> What did they use as condoms in days of old. I’m talking way way back.

> What did women use during their periods before the creation of Always and co.

> How do you dispose a used condom. Aren’t you afraid someone would want to take it and use you for jazz like they use used pads in Nigerian movies

> I went to a store the other day and saw: ‘glow in the dark, fruit flavoured, studded, vibrating condoms. What do you need these things for

> What did women do when their husbands went to war for months on end. As per their sex life

> Who invented the toilet. Why? What was he thinking

> Why is it that whenever a girl is reading a novel, everyone guys automatically assume it’s romance or erotica.

> Who came up with words. Why is a house called a house and not a table for example.

> Why do we act like once you buy something from a store, it’s shelf life decreases. A lot.
Example 1: you buy bread that has been around for a day. You take it home and leave it for another 2. It’s not fresh but it’s not spoilt either but the general reaction is that the bread is no good.
Example 2: you buy a canned product -sardine, baked beans, whatever- it isn’t due to expire for another year but whenever you see it in your kitchen, you’re hyperventilating because “it’s no longer good”

> I wonder if people realize what BEAUTY pageants are. It is a Beauty pageant. The only criteria, I believe, is or should be beauty. So I don’t understand why people expect something different.

And thus ends the randomness that is this post.

During my imposed phone free week, I wasn’t just thinking about random things. I read a few physical books that had been in the house for a while. I read The Notebook, Death of A Salesman, The Wounded Spirit and The Poet by Micheal Connelly. I’m just wondering where this guy has been all my life. This book is amazing.

I dreamt about the Nook deal on dealdey yesterday night/this morning. 😥

As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
– Psalm 103:12

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
– 2 Corinthians 5:21

Grace and Peace

What I Did Last Weekend?

After I wrote and sent my last post, I remembered that there was something I wanted to add but I couldn’t remember until this morning.

I went for the 2nd edition of the Lagos MakeUp Fair last weekend. It was so much fun. I met SisiYemmie. She’s so beautiful. I won a bag of stuff from Sleek.

When I went on stage, the MC lady said that I look like an ‘efiko’  and my sister said that people behind her said I look like an efiko. How do efiko(s) look? I don’t understand.

Anyway, I just hope there are no random pictures of me flying around the internet.

I’m excited about Season 3 of Suits and Season 2 of Newsroom coming out in July. Can’t wait. I need to start Desperate Housewives and Secret Life of the American Teenager again. I can’t remember where I stopped.

The internet is a bad thing. I spend like all my time downloading ebooks. On Kobo, I have like 20 unread books and I keep downloading. On my phone, there are like 150 books I haven’t read. And I’m not exaggerating. I have 2 paper books that I haven’t read yet. There’s just so little time and so many things to do and places to go.

I’m so behind on my devotional plans. I feel bad. Every time, I’ll say: ‘okay, I’ll read today” and then I spend all my time on Goodreads or reading a book. Or on Twitter. Then it’s 9/10/11pm and then I’m sleepy. Go to my bible app and sleep off reading it. Then I wake up the next day and feel terrible then do it all over again.

I watched Life of Pi. It wasn’t a boring movie but I feel like I wasted 2 hours of my life.

Friday is the first graduation ceremony at my secondary school since I graduated. I have to go because I’m doing someone’s makeup. The problem is if I should stay. Decisions decisions.

I want to do this thing on my blog where I’ll pick a topic and two people will write posts about the topic. One post would be in support, the other post would oppose. Like a debate

On another note, thanks for taking 5/10 minutes of your time and reading this blog. I really appreciate it 😀

An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word
cheers him up.
— Proverbs 12:25

Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice.
— 1 Chronicles 16:10

Grace and Peace


BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN. This is an actual book. An animal Human being wrote 600 and something pages of nonsense and is selling that nonsense for $140. I don’t even know what to say. The book is in all caps and she was just throwing in greater than and less than signs and asterisks. I don’t even want to start on grammatical errors. The reviews are hilarious. I’m just going to drop links for the reviews on Goodreads(the link above), Amazon here and Google books here.

Last week, I was listening to Wazobia fm and they said a grown man, married with children has not done a day’s work in 10 years. 10 whole years. As they were still talking about this, someone else called in to talk about 15 years, another one 20 and yet another one 25 freaking years. How can a grown able bodied man not contribute to his family’s income. No matter how small. Even if it’s 1% of the income that comes from you. Do something. Which kain ishoro is that? Olorun ma je a ri oshi ati jati jati. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. These men is not even as if their wives are earning millions oh. They are struggling.

I’ve been seeing something about ‘stew mix’ on my timeline. Are people so lazy that they cannot go and grind pepper and tomatoes, put oil inside pot with salt and maggi. Even if it’s struggle stew. Put dry pepper and tin tomato. This is just deep. Next thing is garri mix.

Yesterday or two days ago, people were criticizing Wizkid for buying a Porsche when OJB needs money for an operation. I’m just like huh? I’m all for charity and helping people when you can but whatever Wizkid or anybody else for that matter decides to do with their money is nobody’s business. It’s his money and he can do as he likes with it. Nobody is entitled to it and he’s not obligated to give it out. We really need to realize that you can’t force someone into giving money to people in need.

On a totally random note, I really want to learn sign language. If anyone can tell me where I can learn in Lagos, I’ll really appreciate.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
— Hebrews 12:2

Love each other as I have loved you.
— John 15:12

Grace and Peace