Before I start this post, I’d say that yes, I’m a virgin. [For all of you that have asked or have wanted to ask]. The plan is to be a virgin when I get married because I’ve made a personal decision to not have sex with someone who I haven’t committed to spending the rest if my life with.
But again, this thing isn’t easy because: desires of the flesh and all of that.
Okay, now that that’s out of the way, unto the post.
Women are more than their vaginas
We talk about virginity a lot these days – usually hush hush because Nigerians don’t talk about sex and all of that.
There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin. And there’s also nothing wrong with not being a virgin. Fact of the matter is everyone is going to die. Being a virgin doesn’t mean you’d die a less horrible death or you’d have a better life or you’d win a Nobel Prize. It doesn’t give you a backstage pass into heaven.
So you’ve decided to stay a virgin. All well and good. Lovely. Wonderful. Here, have a cookie. But again this doesn’t make you better than the next person.
This post is going to be directed more at the ladies but let me just quickly say this about guys: Having sex before marriage is a decision you should make on your own. Not because you want to have a huge body count. Or you want to impress your friends or whatever.
Yeah. So back to the ladies. Repeat after me
I am more than the thing between my legs.
We keep talking about women’s rights and how women are more than sex bla bla bla. But then we go around and place our self worth on the state of our hymens.
Woman, you are more than the state of your hymen.
When we’ve reduced all the accomplishments a woman can have to whether she gets married or not and if she gets married a virgin.
Women have sexual urges too
Women want to have sex too. It’s normal. There’s no lock and key that we hide and then unlock when we get married. People don’t like to talk about this. And that’s why we have girls hating themselves because they think these thoughts.
This tweet put it well
When I saw this tweet, I was like “Preach it sister”.
We need to start talking to young girls (like me) and tell them that it’s okay to feel how you feel. It’s normal even. You’re not some disgusting, perverted creature. You’re just being a normal human being.
At the end of the day, your virginity is not my business.
I’m not saying that everyone should sleep around or that virginity is a bad thing. Nope. Do you. Make your choices and stick them but don’t go around acting like you deserve national honours for doing something that you want. Keep your virginity to yourself.
Talk to me about businesses you’ve started, invested in or projects you’re working on etc. Your aim in life is not to get married as a virgin. I’m sure you have a higher purpose than that.