18 Is An Awkward Age

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I turn 18 in a few weeks.

I’m excited about turning 18 and on the other hand I’m afraid.… Okay, maybe not afraid. I’m being melodramatic.

18 is an awkward age. It is a much anticipated age and at the same time a much dreaded age.

18 is that awkward age where you’re an adult but not officially one. Because you’re still a teen. You’re “legal” but not fully “legal

You can buy alcohol. You can drink. You can drive. You have freedom.
It’s fun, it’s exhilarating, it’s wonderful
18 is when “you’re no longer a child”

When you’re 18, you’re thought of as a “responsible adult”. No more excuses for your recklessness. You can’t hide behind. “I’m still a child”.


18 is when you really start worrying about the future. About university, work, love, relationships and all those other adult things.
You have to know better.
18 is when you join ” the Real World”
It’s scary. It’s intimidating. It’s more.

I’ll be 18 in a few weeks. I’ll resume for Year 2 of studying Psychology (most likely) in January. I have paid jobs. I have projects I’m working on.

But I’m scared.

I’m scared of tomorrow. What will happen. This sudden thrust into “adulthood”.
Being confident, adult Lade and being the worried, confused teen Lade.

The fear of what the future holds for me. When people will say “You’re not young anymore”

Am I prepared for “the Real World.” This terrible, scary place they warn you about.
This place that will bend you and break you. That will kick you when you’re down..
This thing that will consume you if you’re not prepared for it.
This place where your failures and weaknesses are magnified.
This jungle. That monster that magnifies.
This place that proves that you’re not strong enough, not good enough, not successful enough.

I’m scared. But I’m also excited. I think I’m doing well with my life so far. But sometimes, this fear of not realising my full potential. Not being successful the way I want to be. Not meeting expectations. Sometimes, these fears overwhelm me. They paralyse me.
I think of children my age, some even younger, who have done things all over the world but I’m here in my little corner not doing enough.

I hope I have a better story to tell. From when I turn 19 and 20 and as the years go by.

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3 thoughts on “18 Is An Awkward Age

  1. No need for the pressure or the fear.you are way ahead of some 30 year old. I absolutely agree though that my fear for you is that you won’t get enough time to experiment or just be a young for a while. Remember that as you grow older, you will change your mind a few times about many things and it will be confusing because you will think you are losing yourself or you aren’t sure who you are so just prepare yourself. It’s great that you are finding your purpose early not many people get that chance. I would say plan but always give yourself room to discover. You are constantly evolving so don’t be scared. Take it one day at a time. I love your honesty

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  2. Lol. You worry too much. Yes, turning 18 is all of that, and more, but it’s also the age when most things fall into place and life then becomes a gentle, almost stress-free stroll. You’re in the University, and you have paying jobs and projects; means your life generally has a direction. At 18, I had finished secondary school for a year, and, with no hopes of gaining admission anywhere. All before I decided to take my life in my own hands and do something with it.

    Look at you – you’re smart, intelligent, beautiful, etc. I’d say you’re way grown, even beyond your age and, turning 18 for you must just be a matter of formality.

    What you should be more worried about is the pressure to experiment and throw caution to the wind, the enthusiasm that comes with wanting to be an adult so bad, when you finally get to be one, you go faster than you normally should. Happens to the best of us. Anytime that happens, remember one thing: there’s no point rushing to be an adult, you have the rest of your life for that because, really, adulthood sucks; it isn’t the rosy, fun ride that they tell you it is – take it from someone who has been there.

    So, Breathe; you’re already doing okay. We’re not all going to be Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates (although there’s no harm in being one), we can only be who we are, and hope to God that it’s enough. You’re not doing badly at all for the above-average 18 year old, so, there’s really no need to panic. Just relax; relax and enjoy the ride.

    Happy Birthday in advance, ‘Lade!

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