I’ve Been Thinking

Disclaimer: Post may be disjointed. Try and make as much sense of it as you can.

A few days ago, there was a story on a 17 year old girl who was murdered by some men because she refused their advances.

I decided to not read the post but then I changed my mind and read it.

Since I read it, I’ve been thinking.

[One of] every woman’s greatest fear is rape. In what world is it acceptable to murder a child because she refused your sexual advances.

According to the post, which you can read here, the girl wasn’t raped at all.

I turned 17 about 3 months ago and believe me I know what it’s like to be afraid to go to certain places because one man or some men would be there. I understand what it’s like to have strange men grope you and yell disgusting and improper things at you.
I know what it feels like to be afraid of someone violating you.

I was wondering about all the advances and words I have ignored from men and I was thinking about these men. If they had gotten angry enough because of my “pride” or “lack of respect” or “rudeness”, could that girl have been me. Could it have been one of my friends. Someone I know.

You know what I’m tired of? I’m tired of people telling me to stop exaggerating and blowing things out of proportion. I’m tired of having to walk down streets with my earphones in, volume on the highest and head bowed. I’m tired of people not doing anything until someone dies.

I’m pretty sure people in her neighbourhood would have noticed that some men used to bother her but no one did or said anything.

She probably reported the men but she was ignored.

There are many stories like this everyday. How many will get blog posts. How many will get hashtags.

Do something. Whatever you can.

My sister is almost 15. I have a 4 year old cousin. I don’t want them to be afraid of doing things because some perverted man/men would be around.

We can’t grow when there is so much fear

Grace and Peace

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5 thoughts on “I’ve Been Thinking

  1. I understand your fears, darling. I do. It’s so sad that the society we live in does not take issues like these seriously…even when someone dies. See the girl that was raped and videoed in the East, whatever happened to her assailants? Almost nobody holds men accountable. We have a responsibility to watch out for ourselves and our sisters. We ought to be vigilant, I understand that it sucks to live in fear but until we can actually do something about rape/harassment/abuse, we can only be live carefully and watch who we interact with.

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  2. One night in December, I was heading home in a taxi- and just out of the blue, the cab man refused to go any further. I protested, but after he started yelling, I got out of the car.
    I was stopped near some beer parlour type of place, and at first I was thankful that okay, at least “people” were awake. I stood on the side, trying to hail a cab but it was difficult- it being past 11pm.
    5 minutes in, some guy walked up to me trying to talk. I wasn’t comfortable, so after seeing no cab, I started walking. I walk pretty fast on a normal day, so on this day, I was walking like a bicycle. I walked for 30 long minutes and for like 60% of the time, this guy was behind me. Calling out to me, crossing the road when I crossed. It was dark and lonely and the other men I was seeing on the road weren’t any comforting. (and P.S. I was wearing a t-shirt and free ankara trousers. Neither were tight fitting)

    I haven’t felt as afraid as I felt that day. I actually started crying by the time I entered my estate (gratitude). We all have to do what we can, but apart from looking out for one’s self, and trying not to be in a cab at 11pm, I’m not sure what practically speaking, we can really do. I listen to the radio, I overhear conversations, I read tweets. It’s amazing how accommodating people still are, of rape culture, and other forms of assault against women.

    Super long comment, sorry.

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  3. It saddened me when I heard that story. It’s just sad.
    One of the reasons being the state of the nation and how crimes of sexual nature; rape, assault etc are treated when reported.
    I have 2 younger sisters under 17 and I’m afraid for them, I pray the Lord keeps each and every one of us.

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