Too Much?

Hey guys

I know I promised to post at least once a week but a lot has been going on.
I’ve been really busy. What with a very important exam coming up and struggling to write reviews for books I promised to review. We Blog About Books
I’m hoping something profitable comes out of this

I’ve been wondering about this blog. Whenever I tag it, I say personal blog but is it really. I don’t talk much about my self.
I mean what’s going on in my life. Where do I draw the line on what to share. It’s really difficult.

I’m in my bed at 2:33am writing this. I just finished my third cup of coffee. I’m not a coffee drinker. This is my second time ever. I just wrote 2 reviews on my book blog and I’m thinking about where I am in life. Especially after reading Efe’s 360 degrees post

I’m supposed to be finishing up my first year of university now but I’m unsure of if I’m even going to get into uni this year. I got into unilag last year September but I refused to go. I wanted to go to the university I got admitted to in CA for January this year but that fell through.

I failed JAMB this year when I retook it. My first exam fail ever. Except when I got F9 in further mathematics mid term test in SS1 and it was because I joined late. (I still ended up being the best student in Further Maths three years running.)
Someone told me that I didn’t fail, I just didn’t meet the cut off. Unilag didn’t reduce their cut off to 180 so I could get in
Nobody was more disappointed than I was.

I have Unilag’s foundation exam on Friday and I’m scared. I don’t want to imagine that I’d fail and I’ve been reading a lot. I’m reading even more than I read for WAEC.

I really don’t know what’s going to happen but God has told me that I should open my mind and see what He’ll do. Basically trust in Him. I know in my heart that God has plans for me but I just want to get this over with. Not knowing where I am is scary.

This year of not being in school has been one of my best. I’ve met a lot of amazing people that I couldn’t have met if I’d gone to school but I can’t carry on like this.

I had a plan for myself. Finish Dansol, go to Canada to study psychology and mandarin, American sign language or entrepreneurship. Come back home. Set up a psychology practice with my friend M and do my makeup and photography on the side.

I think that was the problem. I had a plan. I didn’t ask God. I didn’t tell God. I just went. Oh this is my plan.

In the midst of all this, in the back of mind. I keep on hearing: “I will give you rest on every side” 

NEPA has been playing with us. No light for 3 days. Then today, they brought light for about 10 minutes three times.

My phone’s screen is a mess. I’m taking it to Samsung on Monday. Probably won’t get it till next Monday.

My stomach hurts. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I feel sick. I want more coffee but I’m too tired to get up and make some. I don’t even like coffee. Maybe it’s my upcoming exam giving me jitters. Exam jitters. Never had them.

I’m thankful for my friends. My support system.

I think I’ll sign off now. This post is getting long.

Good night/morning.

Writing this post is a struggle. No tears. I think I’ve cried all I can.
I’m scared to post this. I’m just going to send it before I change my mind.

The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?
– Psalm 27:1

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
– 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Grace and Peace

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