*NOTE: Africa Magic and Nollywood(movies) can be used interchangeably.
A lot of people think Africa Magic is useless and reduces the I.Q. blah blah blah…. I disagree. Seriously.
There are a lot of life lessons to be learnt from Africa Magic.
In fact when you think of it in this sense, Nollywood makes more sense than Hollywood. Hollywood be giving us shi about happy endings and people jumping from one building to another and doing seemingly impossible tasks in limited time and in very impossible conditions.
Anyways, these are the things that Africa Magic has taught me:
NEVER EVER take marriage advice from your friends especially if they aren’t married/engaged or if they are divorced/in an unhappy relationship. These people don’t love you. They are jealous of you and want your marriage to crash
DON’T let anyone live with you in your matrimonial home It doesn’t matter if it’s your mother/sister/uncle/brother/best friend. NO ONE is allowed to live with you people. The most anyone can stay is 5 nights(excluding mothers-in-law. They are allowed 1 month). It’s for your own good. Your husband’s brother can go to hostel if he’s coming for uni. There are other choices out there.[I already told my mum she’s not allowed to stay more than 1 month in my house]
(GIRLS) DO NOT allow any other person in the world cook for your husband go to mr Biggs, buy food on the road. Do anything but NEVER allow someone else (physically) cook for your husband. If you love your marriage/husband just don’t.
(GIRLS) ALWAYS stay away from married men(if you’re not married) if you are, be careful around other married people. He would not leave his wife and/or children for you. And even if he does, his wife would come and pour acid on you or hire thugs to deal with you. If you’re lucky his wife would be a maniac and she will kill you. Even if you have a strong babalawo, the jazz would backfire and you’ll run mad or sum’n
(GUYS) DO NOT accept gifts from someone who you dumped especially if it is a wedding/out-of-the-blue-i-just-wanted-to-get-you-something gift. Don’t even allow such people into your house. Your wife would die.
in (public) universities, DO NOT go and be doing gbogbo bigs girl. you are wrecking your life and future. You may not even have future sef.
also, DO NOT go to that party that has dress code like yellow&black or red&black or white&red. You WILL die.
your safety depends on your relationships don’t be rude to that area boy who lives near your house. Be nice to your housegirl/gateman/driver. Your mechanic/vulcanizer. Your relationship with these people matter.
NEVER assume for example. if your husband is staying out later than usual. Ask why. (In a nice way, maybe after cooking him his favourite meal). Don’t assume that he’s with a girl somewhere(he’ll be angry) and don’t assume that he’s not(you are dumb). Always question motives. Be paranoid. But not too paranoid. (a certain degree of paranoia can save your life)Find a place in between.
DO NOT tell everybody everything they hate you. They don’t want you to be successful/happy. They are jealous of you. So if your child is going abroad for studies, don’t tell anyone till he has gone(if you can manage, till he finishes). If you like go and be doing town crier. You will know what it means to cry.
do background checks on prospective partners you don’t want to end up engaged to your cousin. Someone like me now. I’m sure I’m related to half
if not all of the people from Ijebu Ode. So if I meet a guy who is from Ijebu gats find out if we’re related. No matter how distant. Also, find out about your husband-to-be’s culture. You don’t want to have to eat lizard stew when you’re 6 months pregnant.
So, if you’ve learnt anything from Nollywood and you’d like to share, please leave a comment. You can also share “africa-magic-like” experiences. 🙂
Also, Nominations for the Nigerian Blog Awards are now open. Click http://nigerianblogaward.com/register.php to nominate my blog
in any/all/most/one of the following categories: Best Faith-based Blog, Best New Blog, Best Personal Blog, Best Student Blog, Nigerian Blog of the Year
Have A Lovely Day 🙂