I’ve lived like this for too long. I will be 18 in a week and i’ve experienced things you can only imagine.
My father died 16 years ago. My mother killed him. I know because i saw her shoot him. She killed him, she dragged his body and buried him in our backyard. I hate her. My baby sister was upstairs sleeping. I wonder when i’ll become like him too. 6 feet under. Cold and lifeless. I still have nightmares.
A month after she killed him, she married another man. The other man came to our house a lot before my father died. My father even met him a couple of times. I thought he was her brother.
When i was four, he would come into my room and caress me. I hated when he did that but if i tried to turn away, i received a slap. I hate him. Just as much as i hate mother.
When i was six, touching me wasn’t enough for him. He told me he loved me and that was how to show love. He started to masturbate around me. I just had a feeling that the things he did to me and around me were wrong. But who could i tell. The day i told my mother, i received the beating of my life. My mother said i was why her new husband hated her. I didn’t ask for this so why am i being punished.
When i was 10, he raped me. That was when i decided that i had to get away. However i could. Whenever i ran away from the house. They always found me and i was beaten mercilessly. They always tried to make sure that when they beat me, the marks wouldn’t show if i had on shorts or a shirt with short sleeves. Whenever they made a mistake and i had visible scars, i had to wear long shirts and trousers. No matter how hot the weather was. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Only when i was supposed to go to school. I missed a lot of days at school.
When i was 13 and i had my period he started using condoms. My mother died when i was 14. My life took a turn for the worse. One time i got pregnant. He took me to a doctor and i had an abortion. The second time he asked the doctor to remove my womb. Now i will never have my own children. When i was 16, he took me to the store and told me to go buy the condoms. My sister hates me. She thinks he is our father. He turned her against me when she was 5. Now i’m almost 18. With no family and nowhere to go. I’ve decided what i will do to get out of this hell hole. I’ll get a gun and kill him. I can’t continue to live like this. I have to kill him. There is no other way out.
All over the world children are abused. In most cases the person is someone they trust. Children face terrible things daily. Unlike many people think, boys do get sexually abused but on the most part it’s the girls that suffer. Children should be encouraged to report cases of rape and abuse. They should also be shown love and support. They are scared and have been de-humanized. They have to be treated with care and gentleness.
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Have a lovely day 🙂
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