This post is mainly for the girls. Guys are welcome to read it too.
About a week ago, there was an issue about a girl pounding yam for her boyfriend (or husband) on twitter. There were many views on this topic. Someone said, ‘I don’t see the big deal in pounding yam for my boyfriend or husband. If he asks me to, I will’. Another person said that she will not even pound yam for her husband, someone is now saying boyfriend. Another said, ‘if he wants pounded yam, he should either bring his sister to live with them or look for a house near Mama Cass. This topic came into mind when a friend of mine shared a story with me earlier today. When I say ‘to pound or not to pound’, I’m not restricting myself to pounding yam. I’m talking of chores in general.
I am not saying it is good or bad. That is your own opinion. But for me, I don’t think there is a big deal in it. But something bothers me about these things. You will go and slave and turn yourself into house maid for a boy for like 7 years thinking that he will marry you. The next thing you know, he is giving you an invitation card to his wedding with another girl. A waste of 7 years of your life. Sad isn’t it. I’ve seen this too many times but no, some girls refuse to learn.
I know many girls that have gone through this but i will share only two stories.
We will call the girl in the first story Kemi and her boyfriend will be called Kola. Kemi and Kola were friends for about a year before they started going on dates together. They were going like this for two years. Everybody in Kemi’s family knew Kola and everybody in Kola’s family knew Kemi. Everybody thought they would get married. Kemi would go to Kola’s house, wash his clothes and clean his house. She would go to the market on Sundays after church buy things with her own money and go to his house to cook for him. Stock his freezer with food for him to eat during the week. This went on for another 3 years. After 6 years of their relationship, Kola brought a girl and said she was the one he would marry and that he can’t marry Kemi. See how 6 years of Kemi’s life has been wasted.
This next story sound like something off Africa Magic but it is a true story. For this story, we will call the girl Moji and the boy Mark. Moji and Mark met through a mutual friend. It was ‘love at first sight’ for the both of them. Mark lived with his uncle. Moji did the same things that Kemi did for Kola. One day, Moji and the uncle were the only people in the house, Mark had gone out before Moji arrived. She went to cook and left the food on the cooker to go and bath. As she was bathing, the uncle came in a nd raped her. She couldn’t say anything. She didn’t know who to turn to. Mark suspected that something was wrong because there was always tension whenever Moji and his uncle were in the same room. He always asked Moji what happened and she would maintain that nothing happened. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he beat out a confession. He sent her away and said he couldn’t marry her after 8 years of being together.
As we see, both girls wasted a large amount of their life with these men believing that by doing house chores and things like that, they would marry them. So those of you who think that because you pound yam for a guy, he will marry you should think again. Also, if you’ve been in a relationship you think is serious and after 4 years he hasn’t proposed to you or suggested that he will, you should ask him if he plans on doing so. And if the answer is no, you know what to do. Guys, don’t lead a girl into believing that you will marry her when you know you wouldn’t. Life is too short for nonsense. But the question remains, ‘To Pound or Not To Pound?’